My father passed away this past January and I found myself in a deep depression. I felt all sorts of emotions and would get these heartbreaking, intense moments when tears filled my eyes and my heart literally ached. About a month after his passing, I decided to take a leave from my office job. I couldn’t think straight and I knew I needed to face this grief head on or it would haunt me horribly for the rest of my life.
So there I was, not working for the first time since I was 15. The previous year and half or so my schedule had been jam-packed so for me to just sit still was very foreign. I felt even more depressed. I laid around for about a week, just crying, sleeping, not visiting anyone, barely talking to anyone, feeling sorry for myself, for my Dad, for my family and replaying many moments and how it unfolded. I slowly pulled myself together and sought professional help. Many wonderful healers came into my life and each gave me a little something to help me progress and get me back on my spiritual path.
It’s no coincidence that I had been building a deep spiritual connection with myself through yoga, meditation and self-awareness the past couple of years as I prepared for this significant life loss. I knew this was coming and I also knew if I didn’t find a positive coping mechanism; my addictive self could easily self-destruct. My Father was an alcoholic and struggled with other cancer and health related issues. You might be able to imagine how hard it is to stand by watching someone you love lose his or her life prematurely. I tried to get him into rehab and encourage him, providing him meditation tools and even some yoga. He loved the idea of it all and would often say; “I hear so many great things about yoga and its amazing health benefits”. Even thought he did believe this to be true and saw the transformation it was making in my own life, it just wasn’t enough to sink in for him to practice it.
The last time I spoke to my father was after work, just before I was heading into a yoga class. I called to say hi and see how he was feeling. For the first time my father said to me, “I want to go to rehab, will you help me?” A rush of emotion overcame my body and I said, “Of course I will help you set it all up and get the insurance straightened out and everything. You looked so much better after just one week of not drinking in the hospital, I know you can heal in rehab”. He said he wanted to go at the end of the month and I agreed to help make the arrangements.
A tear fell from my eye as we hung up the phone and after a few deep breaths I went into my yoga class. Lying on the mat, I thought about the possibilities. Maybe he would get sober and be able to walk me down the aisle and teach his grandkids to play guitar. I visualized that for a moment. Another more tragic alternative popped into my mind and I quickly stopped my thoughts and reminded myself that I cannot control the outcome nor can I predict it. All I can really do is hope for the best and keep my mind calm. I decided to dedicate my personal practice that night to my Dad and just simply his healing. I prayed that God would heal him and that he would not suffer any longer and find peace and health. My practice that night was powerful and my intentions remained focused on my Dads healing.
My Dad playing his guitar for me when I was a child
God decided that the best way to heal my father and put him at peace was to take him to heaven. Of course I miss him so very much and am devastated by the loss, but the stronger higher self in me knows he is now in a very happy place.
A couple of months after my Dad passed, I randomly applied for a yoga teaching job in Costa Rica, thinking a few months away would be just the right thing for me to truly process, heal and get back on my spiritual path stronger and better than ever. I didn’t think much of the application, only that if it was meant to be, I would know. Well the next day I got a call while I was in a meeting with one of my mentors who owns a studio I teach at. While I was speaking with her my phone rang and I randomly thought, “if that is Costa Rica it’s a sign I should take the job”. I didn’t answer, but checked the message after I left the studio. It was Costa Rica asking for an interview. At that moment, I knew it was going to work out somehow, some way.
Playing guitar with my Dad, Beach Boys or the Eagles, our favorites 
I walked into Trader Joes to grab some groceries, still sort of shocked at it all. Immediately I heard on the store speaker, “I will make your dreams come true…”, a Beach Boys song my Dad and I played together often and of course I started crying. My Dad was showing me that this opportunity was for my highest good. I immediately decided that at whatever price, maybe quitting my job or taking out a loan, I was going to make this Costa Rica thing work.
Well here I am in Costa Rica and it’s only been a couple of weeks, but miracles are happening. I’ve already had the opportunity to help heal many people from all walks of life and really tap into my own healing. Serving others is such an amazing way to bring happiness to our own lives and that is exactly what I am doing here.
Relaxing in Costa Rica!
I know this blog is about the Eco SUP Yogi lifestyle, but I feel like in order for you to understand the future blog posts, knowing the real context from which they come is important. Most of the upcoming Costa Rica blog posts will be about the fun adventures, experiences, romance and amazing healing that is taking place, all very positive and uplifting! Follow along by liking PureSUP Yoga on facebook or joining the blog mailing list!
Miracles are happening daily and tapping into your intuition will allow you to see the signs. I am hoping this blog finds you well and peaceful on this lovely day. Opportunities, in light and in dark, will present themselves to you; will you be prepared to take them?
Lots of Love!
